Doctor Who 2015 Christmas Special - The Husbands Of River Song - Review

Starring: Peter Capaldi, Alex Kingston, Matt Lucas & Greg Davies

Written By: Steven Moffat

Directed By: Douglas Mackinnon

 

Christmas! It's the annual time of festivity and good will to all! That is until the evening with the Doctor Who Christmas special about to air. Look, everyone can have as good a Christmas as ever, but don't be expecting me to give the specials full marks. Doctor Who's Christmas specials have always had a mixed history, and I'm still getting over my anger about the incalculable damage Hell Bent did to the show at the end of the last series. Still, Steven Moffat delivered his strongest special to date with Last Christmas, so can he do even better this year and start to make up for the heap of junk we got at the end of Series 9? Let's hope so...

 

It's Christmas Day on the human colony of Mendorax Dellora, 5343, and the Doctor is reunited with River Song. However, in his current incarnation, River doesn't recognize the Doctor and instead thinks he is a medical surgeon. As of such, the Doctor is tasked with operating on King Hydroflax, a cyborg and tyrannical king responsible for the deaths of millions. Inside Hydroflax's head is a priceless diamond which River hopes to sell, but removing it will involving taking Hydroflax's head. Neither the Doctor or River expect his head to be safely detachable, but when they steal the head, the independent robotic body ruthlessly pursues them...

 

When details about this special were released, I remember feeling very annoyed that River Song was returning. The character had already been given a fitting conclusion in The Name Of The Doctor and bringing her back just didn't seem necessary. Besides, when River Song is around, it isn't unheard of for Steven Moffat to give her lines that are supposed to be clever and cocky, but are actually empty and just scream “Look how clever I am!” when they really aren't. HOWEVER, as this episode proved, her return here is completely justified. When you think about it, we hadn't wrapped up all the loose ends surrounding the character. In Forest Of The Dead, during her last moments, River tells the Doctor of things such as the last time they visited a place called The Singing Towers of Darillium together. While times like this could have been left unseen, it felt like a better sense of closure getting to see them.

 

Bringing River Song back ended up working reasonably well in this episode's favour, mainly because Peter Capaldi and Alex Kingston work really well together. Their characters' introduction to each other is a bit naff (and that street where the TARDIS is parked is clearly the exact same set used in Face The Raven), and the scene that precedes the opening titles ends on yet ANOTHER “Could the Doctor be dying?!” motif that's so unneeded, lame and out-of-place that I couldn't have cared less. It also takes a very long time before River realizes that the man she's with is the Doctor, even though it's achingly obvious at so many times. I can certainly see why this approach was taken, but it means that we don't get to see enough of Peter Capaldi and Alex Kingston together at their full potential. However, when River finally does realize she's with the Doctor, the two shine and it honestly makes me regret my reluctance to see River Song back again, as these two actors work really well together. This all reaches its peak in the closing 5-10 minutes – a scene I'll talk about in much more depth later.

 

While the use of comedy in this episode didn't always work, the episode itself is undeniably joyous and suitably festive in tone. It saddens me to say that the comedy didn't always work when we have an episode featuring two of my favourite comedic talents with Matt Lucas and Greg Davies. Matt Lucas is really funny when he's on screen, but he only gets about 5-10 minutes of screen time. Still, the image of his head on Hydroflax's body going “No, no, this isn't right!” is hilarious! Greg Davies fares slightly better and though only his head makes an appearance in this episode, his head shouting at the Doctor and River is pretty funny. A surprising amount of laughs went to our other characters, and while I didn't find moments like the Doctor pretending to enter the TARDIS for the first time very funny, lines like “'There's something in his brain' 'You could have fooled me.'” and “'How are the twins?' 'Still digesting their mother.'” were really funny.

 

Speaking of Hydroflax, he along with Ramone ended up leaving little impression and made for a pretty forgettable character. I understand that its Christmas and I'm not looking for anything like a re-invention of the Daleks, but when you have as great a talent as Greg Davies in the role, it would have been nice for Hydroflax to have made more of an impression. The robotic body itself isn't bad, in fact it's almost impressive, but it looks a bit too close to Baymax from Big Hero 6, especially when flying. While the shot of it taking off with Matt Lucas's head on top is funny, it doesn't score Hydroflax many villain brownie points.

 

Once we reach the closing ten minutes of this episode, it's here I can find very little to complain about. Up until now, there have always been several things holding this episode back, be it under-use of comedy talent, the odd poorly-written scene, or scenes that are ripped straight out of other episodes (that scene with the Doctor and River having dinner is a direct rip-off of the restaurant scene in Deep Breath), but in the last ten minutes, it becomes pretty much flawless. The quality starts to shift with River's very moving speech about loving the Doctor, which is followed by what is probably my favourite line from this episode: “I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up”. Once we reach The Singing Towers Of Darillium, things become near-enough perfect. Not only does it wrap up River Song's story and tie in so well with the end of Forest Of The Dead, it's just straight-up beautiful. Everything from the set design, lighting, direction, CGI, to the actual dialogue between River and the Doctor – it's all stunningly romantic and I'm amazed that this ending belongs with an otherwise very mediocre episode.

 

While it doesn't top specials such as The Christmas Invasion, Voyage Of The Damned or Last Christmas, The Husbands Of River Song is one of Steven Moffat's stronger Christmas specials (though that might not be saying much). It's far from perfect, but things like the joyous tone throughout, as well as that stunning ending make it a decent festive watch. But just before I wrap this up, let's make one thing perfectly clear – this now HAS to be the last we see River Song, at least in the TV show. I enjoyed seeing her here again, but bringing her back after this will completely gut this episode of any meaning. Clara's ending was already selfishly robbed of any meaning in Hell Bent, so please leave River Song alone now!

The Husbands Of River Song



6/10