Doctor Who 2011 Christmas Special - The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe - Review

Starring: Matt Smith, Claire Skinner, Holly Earl & Maurice Cole

Written By: Steven Moffat

Directed By: Farren Blackburn

'The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe' follows a very uneven series of the show. Series 6 is the first of the revival that I can't honestly say I liked on the whole. While there were highs such as 'The Doctor's Wife' or 'The Girl Who Waited', there were many dips too with the likes of 'The Curse Of The Black Spot' or 'The Rebel Flesh'. The finale proved disappointing as well, and while not exactly bad, it rounded the series off on a very tepid note. Hopefully we can forgive and learn from the pitfalls of Series 6, and have a bit more fun with Steven Moffat's second Christmas special. Right? 

In 1941 Madge Arwell and her children, Lily and Cyril, are evacuated to the countryside. As Christmas day approaches, Madge receives a telegram that her husband, a fighter pilot, has disappeared over the English Channel, but she decides not to tell Lily and Cyril, not wanting to ruin their Christmas. At their new home, the Doctor becomes their caretaker and had intended to take the family on a short trip through a space-time portal into a snow-covered forest planet. But when Cyril discovers the portal on the night before Christmas, and becomes lost on his own in the forest, it's up to the Doctor to find him. 

To put it rather mildly, I have … quite a few problems with 'The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe'. But credit where it's due, it at least gets off to a promising start. The opening scene of the Doctor destroying a spaceship and crashing to Earth quite literally opens the story with a bang, and it doesn't look too shabby either (nor does the rest of the episode for that matter). The design and CGI of the ship looks sweet, and the Doctor running down the exploding corridor is a great image. I mean, so much for the Doctor keeping quiet and in the shadows after what was established at the end of 'The Wedding Of River Song', but hey ho. Crashed on Earth, the Doctor meets Madge, who leaves a good first impression. She's likeable, takes seeing a spaceman in her stride and seems resourceful too as she helps to pick the lock of the police box. The crux of the episode is a solid one too - Madge not wanting to tell her children about their father's disappearance because she doesn't want to ruin their Christmas, makes her more endearing and gives us something to get invested in. 

BUT (picture that in big neon letters) things rapidly start to deteriorate once we get to the Arwells' new home. If ever there was a case of "trying too hard to be fun, or absurd, wacky and the best thing ever" - it's seeing the Doctor showing them around. The moving living room armchairs, lemonade on tap, the staircase apparently now a broken escalator, panthers in the attic, Lily and Cyril's room now with hammocks … tone it down a bit. I love the 11th Doctor's childlike qualities and endless energy, but it comes across as utterly obnoxious here and you just want to shake him out of his frenzy. It's a honest relief when Madge steps in and shuts him down. The Doctor smugly saying "I know" at everything they see, he might as well be saying "Look how fun and absurd I am!". I don't entirely blame Matt Smith for this - he's often just as good with comedic material as he is with the quieter, more emotional moments (just look at that final scene with Amy and Rory). But this is continuing a trend from the last series of the 11th Doctor becoming too wacky and ridiculous, when they really had it just right in Series 5. I can feel Moffat trying far too hard to be the most fun and Christmassy throughout this episode, and getting it so spectacularly wrong. Madge also takes a turn for the worst from here on out. Now Claire Skinner is a good actress and has turned in plenty of great performances elsewhere, but here she's all over the place. Madge seems to change from scene to scene, going from moody to crying, to pulling a gun out on people, to more jovial when she takes the forest inside her head. Skinner doesn't seem to know what to do with this character, and I can't say as I blame her when this is the material she's having to work with. 

Maybe the biggest failing of 'The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe' is the amount of potential it wastes. Nowhere is this more felt than with the supporting cast. For example, Alexander Armstrong is in here as Reg, and he gets very, very little screentime. He shows up at the start and at the end, and is fine for the time he's on screen, but there's literally nothing else you can say about him. An even bigger waste is the Androzani harvesters. You've got Bill Bailey, Arabella Weir and Paul Bazeley, three great comedic actors and they have minimal presence. The costumes they're wearing look good, but again they have barely any screentime, and the dialogue they do get is hardly inspiring. Their comedy moments in particular are just dreadful. There's also an impressively designed wooden king and queen in here - but just like everything else in this episode, they have nothing to do and are wasted once again. In fact, the king literally just sits there for about ten minutes. The only two other characters that do get any time are Madge's children. Holly Earl as Lily is probably the best one in here and the only one I even remotely warmed to. She works well with Matt Smith and gives a good performance. Maurice Cole however, is less impressive as Cyril. I don't like to pick on child actors, but the majority of time that he spends wandering the forest, he does it with the same dumbfounded expression. It never feels like he's in any great sense of danger. 

I've focused a lot on the characters up until now, but what about the actual story? You might as well tell me, 'cause I haven't got a clue what's going on here. A bunch of harvesters from Androzani Major are deforesting the planet by chucking acid rain on it, and the spirits of all the trees are planning to evacuate. But they can only use Madge as their pilot, because she's a mother (The mothership. Ha, geddit?) and as she's taking all the trees through the time vortex, she finds her husband about to die and saves him. Yeah I don't know what the hell to think either. Some might call it part of the fairy-tale style that Matt Smith and Moffat's tenure seems to be going for. But 'The Eleventh Hour' and Amy waiting twelve years for her imaginary friend to return … that's fairy-tale. This is off its rocker! 

Not only is the plot a load of tosh, it's relying on all sorts of contradictions and poor judgement for it to work. The survival of the trees seems to depend entirely on Madge just happening to be there. What would they have done if no-one else was there with them? It also apparently takes years of training to pilot the harvesters' vehicle, but Madge needs to, so she just does. The harvesters themselves, nor anyone else seems to face any consequences for burning the forest either - they just sod off mid-way through. They're not presented as a threat; in fact, no-one is really and it robs the episode of any sense of danger. There's also multiple instances of this script making some terrible lapses in judgement. When seeing flashbacks of Madge and Reg's relationship, we learn that Reg apparently followed her home everyday until she agreed to marry him. I can see what they were trying to go for with that line, but it really comes off as creepy instead. And of course Reg survives at the end, because it's Christmas … and I'm not sure if anyone can actually stay dead in 'Doctor Who' anymore. Madge never has to summon the bravery to tell her children about what happened or that she kept the information from them, because Reg shows up at the end. I know it's Christmas and I shouldn't go wanting someone to be dead (a sentence I never thought I'd say), but it undercuts a genuine dramatic moment. 

What was that Madge? "This Christmas is going to be the best Christmas ever." - ho, it's really bloody not! The term "bad writing" is flung in the air and aimed at practically every episode of 'Doctor Who' lately, to the point where it's lost all meaning. Often its thrown at episodes that don't deserve it either. I really don't like accusing an episode of bad writing, nor do I enjoy writing reviews this negative, because there's far too many toxic individuals on platforms like YouTube already oversaturating the conversation with that. But if you really want to see 'Doctor Who' with bad writing, 'The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe' has you covered. It starts off well and has one good scene right at the end, but that's it. I struggle a lot trying to find any enjoyment out of this, and I'm sorry to be a Scrooge but this is just … bad and the nadir of Matt Smith's time in the TARDIS. 'Runaway Bride' - you're no longer the worst Christmas special.

The Doctor, The Widow & The Wardrobe

3/10