Day 007 - Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - Film Review

Starring: Sean Connery, Charles Gray, Jill St. John & Jimmy Dean

Screenplay: Richard Maibaum & Tom Mankiewicz

Directed By: Guy Hamilton

Certificate: PG

All good things come to an end, and with Day 007 (ooh see what I did there? Aren't I clever?) we come to Sean Connery's final Bond film. Now before you shout at me, I'm well aware that he returned for 'Never Say Never Again', and I will get round to watching it, especially in light of Connery's recent passing. However for this marathon, I'm sticking to the twenty-four films produced by Eon. This is partly because it was only the Eon films that were included in the Bond Collection box set that I bought, but also because the numbers just work out a lot better for an advent release schedule (edit: or at least it did before 'No Time To Die' was postponed). With that out of the way, let's get talking about the film proper... 

Having caught up once again with SPECTRE's head, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Bond has finally killed the criminal mastermind. With his task complete, M sends Bond onto his next mission: to investigate a mass diamond smuggling job. Tracking the smuggled diamonds from Europe over to Los Angeles, Bond aims to find out who is accumulating South African diamonds and why. Is it as M suspects a simple case of depressing market prices through dumping, or does the real answer pose a much more serious threat, not just to the diamond market, but perhaps the entire world?

From that synopsis, if you thought it seemed a bit abrupt for Blofeld to be killed off right at the start before the main plot even kicks in... well, it is. In fact when compared to the "in media res" openings of the past few films, 'Diamonds Are Forever' gets off to a considerably shaky start. As Bond pulls literally no punches on his quest to hunt down Blofeld, the action moves so quickly and with such rapid editing between various locations that it becomes jarring and just throws you off. I understand the urgency given that his new wife has been so recently killed, but add in some relatively poor dubbing of Sean Connery's voice to the mix plus Bond strangling a woman with her own bikini top, and this felt charitably flimsy at best. Once Bond successfully tracks him down, Blofeld gets to put in a refreshingly early appearance, now played by Charles Gray. So with a new actor in the role about to make his first impression, Blofeld... just stands there while Bond easily dispatches his henchmen. Then Blofeld gets pushed into a pool of superheated mud. That he's supposedly killed this early on is a pretty obvious red herring, but as opportunities for a first impression go, Gray gets done dirty here.

But let's not drag on the opening too much just yet, as it does bring us into the title sequence which sees the return of Shirley Bassey singing the eponymous theme. Bassey's voice just suits these early Bond movies so well, and I'd say 'Diamonds Are Forever' is one of the most recognizable Bond themes for good reason. It surpasses Bassey's previous 'Goldfinger' theme and is complimented with some lovely, classy visuals too. 

Seeing as we're excluding 'Never Say Never Again' for the purposes of this marathon, I went into 'Diamonds Are Forever' treating it as Connery's last Bond outing. Nine years have passed since he first began with 'Dr. No', and while the problematic aspects of his character sadly haven't exactly gone away (he's still slapping Tiffany Case around) he hasn't lost any of that gentlemanly charm either. While I am keen to see what I'll make of Roger Moore as Bond, it's nice to have Connery back in the driver's seat for a victory lap one more time. He hasn't lost any of his rough edge when it comes to the more intense moments and fight scenes too. There's one great moment fairly early on when Bond, having assumed the identity of diamond smuggler, ends up confronting the man whose identity he's taken. It results in a tightly-contained, fairly brutal fight scene contained in a lift. Speaking of lifts, there's also one later scene where Bond makes his way up to the sealed off penthouse of a high-rise building, and he starts off by just standing on the roof of the lift and riding up several levels. I can't explain why, but the casual way he just rides the outside of this lift is just an effortlessly cool moment.

Not all that surprising given the title, 'Diamonds Are Forever' sees Bond on the trail of a ring of international diamond smugglers. One of the retrospective criticisms that has grown increasingly common of this film is the convoluted plot and I have to agree. Characters get introduced whose motivations, their names or who they're working for are incredibly unclear, and once again it can become hard to follow who's working for who, who's double crossing someone else etc. Mr Wint and Mr Kidd suffer this especially. A lot of the time they felt massively disconnected from the rest of the film, and appear to have been so much of an afterthought that there's a five-minute epilogue dedicated to tying up their story. While this kind of thing can dampen your enjoyment of the film, it does go some way in making up for it with a number of entertaining set-pieces. If Bond escaping a secret base in a moon buggy with flailing robot arms isn't quirky enough for you, he and Tiffany have to also escape a bunch of cops in the streets of Las Vegas. Not only does Bond lead them round in circles on a car park until nearly every cop car has crashed into each other, he also makes a getaway down a narrow ally by tipping a red Mustang onto two wheels and coasting through. It's a moment that seems to defy every law of physics, a bit like Godzilla sliding across the screen on his tail. It's absolutely ridiculous and brilliant all at the same time. 

Speaking of brilliant, after a damp squib of an introduction, shock horror: it turns out Blofeld isn't really dead! In fact he's back for most of the second half of the film. Crikey does he redeem himself too. Though I think Donald Pleasence still holds the title of definitive Blofeld for me, Charles Gray is an improvement over Telly Savalas. He channels a similar vibe as Pleasence and relishes the opportunity of being the baddie. There's a return to more cartoon-ish, absurd stuff as well, such as one bizarre moment where Blofeld dresses up in drag for one brief scene only to sit in the back of a taxi. Talk about dedication to a disguise. Blofeld's plan is suitably ludicrous too, having smuggled and stolen all those diamonds to... refract laser light on a big satellite, giving him a big laser gun with which to threaten the world's governments. It's something straight out of a comic - big, pulpy and just a lot of fun. 

In many ways, 'Diamonds Are Forever' reminded me of 'You Only Live Twice'. Both films have Blofeld at the helm of an absurd evil plan, both have their fair share of problems, but both are a lot of fun to watch. 'Diamonds Are Forever' doesn't exactly add much new or innovative to the James Bond formula, and I'm hoping the move to 'Live & Let Die' will mix things up a bit after these past seven films. But as a last hurrah for Sean Connery, at least in the Eon-produced films, 'Diamonds Are Forever' is hugely enjoyable.

7/10

NEXT TIME - Live & Let Die