Day 06 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) - Film Review

Starring: George Lazenby, Telly Savalas, Diana Rigg & Ilse Steppat

Screenplay: Richard Maibaum

Directed By: Peter R. Hunt

Certificate: PG

'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' is something of an anomaly among the James Bond series. The only Bond film to start George Lazenby in the role, his name has become synonymous with brief acting gigs. The best point of comparison in my eyes would be Paul McGann's one-off TV appearance as the 8th Doctor in 'Doctor Who'. But unlike with Paul McGann, I was apprehensive going into the sixth James Bond film as my parents had always warned that Lazenby was "no good" as Bond, and that the film was disappointing. But is there more to it than that? 

Set roughly two years on from the events of 'You Only Live Twice', Bond is searching for criminal mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld. A potential lead emerges from the head of a European crime syndicate, Marc-Ange Draco. Draco's lead brings Bond to Switzerland, where disguised as a member of the London College of Arms, he encounters Blofeld once more. Blofeld, now supposedly running an allergy-research clinic, is instead brainwashing his patients, preparing them to distribute bacterial warfare agents across the world. Once more it falls onto Bond to stop a scheme to hold the world to ransom.

Despite the warnings I'd been given, 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' started off promisingly. Opening with Bond engaged in a fistfight on a beach, Peter R. Hunt's direction proved immediately distinctive. Especially noticeable during action scenes, the direction is tight and infuses the fight scenes with energy - they have an edge to them, a tangible snap of sorts. Hunt gets the balance of zoom-ins and quick cuts during the fight scenes just right, with just enough restraint to prevent it becoming disorientating. The James Bond motif is also tweaked slightly to help keep it fresh, and Lazenby gets to make a decent first impression. Save for the title sequence, which is a little bit drab and naff, also omitting a theme tune in favour of returning to an instrumental theme, the films gets off to a positive start. But it does begin to deteriorate from here. 

But before I get too far ahead of myself, what's the verdict on Lazenby as Bond? Is he as disappointing as I'd been told to prepare for? Not exactly. He's no Sean Connery in the role, but he's nowhere close to being a write-off. In particular, he nails the physicality and the action sequences. His weakness, especially when you inevitably end up standing him against his predecessor, is his comparative lack of charisma during the more dialogue-heavy moments. His delivery itself is fine, but just feels a tad off for reasons I can't quite pin down. His time as Bond is also restricted by some alleged behind the scenes issues. Accounts conflict, but it has been suggested at least that Lazenby and Diana Rigg didn't get on well during filming, and especially early on that does show through. Even the better scenes between Bond and Countess Vicenzo can't help but feel awkward. A cutesy montage of the two doing romantic couple-y things, and with Louis Armstrong singing in the background no less - while it is nice to see Bond treating at least one woman better than usual, it does feel massively out of place. 

Lazenby is absolutely not the weak point of this film. Its biggest failing is in a similar vein to 'Thunderball' - it's far too long. It actually eclipses 'Thunderball's runtime, clocking in at around 2hrs 20mins. Being that long does it no favours, and it's not until about twenty-five minutes in that our plot really begins and we learn what Bond's current objective is. Those first twenty-five minutes are just aimless and in dire need of editing down. So far into this Bond marathon, I don't think I've been as bored at any point than when he travels to Switzerland - it takes so... f*cking... long for anything to happen or for Bond and Blofeld to meet again. That scene where he dons the frilly cravat and kilt and has dinner with a group of women all making googly eyes at him: it's like the world's dullest 'Carry On' film. Heck, Blofeld's henchwoman, Bunt, could even stand in for the frigid Hattie Jacques-esque matron figure. 

Speaking of Blofeld, the supervillain is back again, though it's a shame that not even his appearance can bolster the film all that much. Blofeld is recast and played by Telly Savalas this time around, and like Lazenby, he's fine enough in the role but pales in comparison to his predecessor. Whereas Donald Pleasence played the character almost as a cartoon caricature of a criminal mastermind, Savalas plays it more straight and it's never quite as effective. The closest we get to that cartoon-ness is when we see him skiing along in some bright yellow goggles. Savalas' balad head and heavy eyebrows lead me to think he'd probably have been a great casting playing the Hood if there had been a live-action 'Thunderbirds' movie in the 60s, but as Blofeld he's serviceable but rarely extraordinary. 

Now I've been pretty harsh on 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' up until now, but I will give it its due: the third act, a.k.a. the last forty or so minutes pick up rapidly and mark a vast improvement. It really begins to come into its own by the end, delivering some genuinely great action scenes and suddenly beginning to churn with an energy that it had been lacking before. For instance, Diana Rigg's Vicenzo initially felt too distant and detached for me to form much of an opinion on her. But then she shows up again in the final act and feels like an almost completely different character. She shows up, rescues Bond, navigates a genuinely adrenaline-pumping car chase, and skis her way to freedom from a bunch of armed goons and an avalanche! I don't know where this character came from but I bloody like her! Rigg's character gets the most agency any Bond girl has had thus far, so even if the romance never truly sparked, I've got to give credit for that. And thank God that her reappearance redeems the character so much, because that ending... oh boy. Bond and Vicenzo marrying, only for her to be gunned down by Blofeld and Bunt just minutes later... it hits you like a freight train. It comes right out of the blue, and it's such a strong ending for this otherwise very inconsistent film. Morbid as it might be to say, the scene of Bond cradling his dead wife, the absence of any music, and those lines "It's alright. It's quite alright you see. She's having a rest. We'll be going on soon. There's no hurry you see. We have all the time in the world." - it's one of the most striking things from this series so far. 

Retrospective reviews of 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' tend to look upon the film more kindly, and for those like me who still harbour mixed feelings, it's easy for us to argue that it would've been better had Sean Connery been playing Bond. But to be honest, I don't even think that would've helped much. Even if judging the film without factoring in Lazenby, it does feel different to the past few Bond films. On the one hand, kudos for that, but gone are the cartoon-ish villains, the charismatic spy and the killer one-liners. In its place is tedium and waffle for long stretches of the runtime, and it doesn't come into its own until the last half-hour. I'd heard words like "wooden" or "forgettable" to describe Lazenby's Bond, but there's absolutely merit to his brief stint in the role. It's also an undeniably attractive film, superbly directed and with wonderful location work in and around the Swiss Alps. It's no disaster by any means, but nor is it my favourite and I won't be in a hurry to revisit it anytime soon.

5/10

NEXT TIME - Diamonds Are Forever